great expectations in productivity

monday, may 24, 2021 , 3:00 pm:

bonjour blog! i have an issue in my life that has proven itself to be a hindrance for me even more than usual. since i became cognizant enough to start doing things for my own if we're being specific. procrastination. procrastination has become what seems to be even more amplified since covid because i don't have the urgency to do what i need to do. well this week i will test my productivity as i can no longer afford to recluse and mope around and do the stupid little things that i do. this is me signing off, and throughout the week i will fill you in on my ambitious attempts to be productive. ALSO!!!! this little piece of writing might give someone an impression that i don't ever do anything, which is NOT TRUE!!! i do plenty of things, i just sometimes fall through with doing everything that i need to do. thats it. i do things that mainly keep me from deteriorating which one can see as self indulgent, and while yes that is true, (self awareness is key) i genuinely enjoy ballet classes (sometimes) and doing my humanities homework.

wednesday may 26 , 10:30 am:

hello blog and good morning! i am currently drinking my second coffee of the day and writing this post in my second period class. so on monday right after i finished writing the paragraph above, i went online and bought my ticket to see the new gia coppola film mainstream, sped out the door and took the train downtown to the theater. i saw the film and was the only person in the screening room too, which was funny because i was literally sprinting down west 4th because i thought i was not gonna be let in for being late. i really enjoyed it and thought it was done so fucking well. andrew garfield's performance as a obnoxious jake paul caricature was something.

on tuesday i went to ballet but was a bit late. will update you on my wednesday productiveness tomorrow. i think the reason why i'm starting to shift mentally in to a state of existentiality are the rapid forthcomings of summer. this end of the year time frame is a time frame where i am in a state of immobile panic. summer is to rapidly approaching and i have to think about all the things i need to prepare for as well as the end of school which is a terrifying time to frantically get your grades together, as well as obligations to ballet and the end of year performance i am underprepared for. i am truly in the thick of it. xoxox emi

sunday, june 6, 11:27 pm

fuck. shit man. this is a late update because life has been busyyyyy but we are in the home stretch. quick recap of the past 2 weeks ish: i've been productive!!!! go me!!!!! however everything is all starting to melt together and become indistinguishable because my media consumption tends to heavily determine my mood and recently i have been a bit indulgent with it. today is sunday and the last day to hand any late work in. this next week is wrapping things up and getting the last final bits of work done as well as so many back to back ballet rehearsals as this saturday is a rapidly approaching spring ballet concert. i've seen and done so may things in the small span of time i haven't been keeping this blog up i'm gonna do a fantabulous digital mixtape some time this week. as always i am living my life like emma roberts in palo alto (minus creepy james franco) because the coppola women define me. i really wanna have more creative outlets this summer you'll be hearing from me again very soon.

xoxo emi

PS that new bo burnham special?????!!!!! its killing me from the inside out.