What’s in for me! & senior year updates.

I am saying hello with quite a bit of shame, as I have not posted since August. But, I am applying to college and that is my excuse. This is a valid excuse. Writing has been the only thing on my mind, but the lack therof has been severely depressing me. My camera roll somehow amassed over 2,000 pictures in an embarrassingly short span of time, which is so horrifying. It's safe to say I've been living. In fact these past 3 months I have been so incredibly alive. I have probably been through every stage of grief twice, and now I'm reaching a state of neutrality some would call "healing". So that is very beautiful for me.

I wrote my college essay on my dissasociative disorder and surrealist art, which makes complete sense.

Since there's no way to quantify the changes of my fall and the beginning of my senior year in just this one post I am going to dedicate my return to the blog by describing what's been "in" for me recently. I hope you get something out of this. Xoxo

Taking bubble baths- Now more than ever I find such a tremendous comfort in disintegrating in a tub of boiling hot water. I prefer to use an elderberry bubble bath from Dr. Teals, please go buy it. It will change your life. I light 2-3 candles get a nice cup of sleepytime tea and plop down with my journal and let all the psychotic ramblings loose. This is healing. This is girlhood.

Being Funny In A Foreign Language - The 1975 has always been in. If you know anything about me you know the violent hyperfixation I used to have on them. (I am saying used to very loosely). But when BFIAFL came out oh god I was the worst person to be around. I warned all of you. With this new album they truly outdid themselves. Actually so good I want to pee my pants and cry every time I hear it. Also in regards to Matty Healy I have no comments at this time.

Cutting your hair short and reinventing yourself - I have very recently cut my huge ridiculous mane of poofy hair into a a cute collarbone length, and dyed it back to my natural color. And since this haircut I have been a new girl. I wear turtleneck sweaters and jeans. Plain stuff. I have never been that girl, but now I am that girl. I went through 3 years of high school refusing to wear pants. And now I'm almost exclusively wearing jeans? This is crazy.

Pulp- I am referring to the 90s europop band fronted by Jarvis Cocker. Something about his silky and jangly voice has been really doing it for me recently. Personal favorite tracks include Lipgloss and Underwear.

Joan Didion's creative nonfiction work (specifically her essays) - I am a firm believer that Didion shines brightest when she puts her cultural commentary glasses on. I just read Let Me Tell You What I Mean and it was so great. Everyone in the world is jealous of how she thinks about words and I am certainly one of those people.

Getting suspended from a job because you lied about your age - I technically work at Urban Outfitters now which is so full circle as 12 year old me would have shit her pants if she knew this. But I told them I was 18 and got hired, all was good until they scanned my passport and caught me. However at that point I had already worked a couple of shifts, was in the system, and they of course "loved my vibe" so instead of firing me they said I could come back when I turn 18. Which is in less than 3 months! Moral of the story, lie! It gets you a job.

Weezer's Blue Album- I'm sorry I just had to speak my truth. I can't hold this secret in any longer.

Barefoot Moscato- So yummy tastes like juice! This is such a brain dead take I'm so sorry I'll wrap this up now.

This seems like a stupid post, but it's a bit different than the usual visual mixtape I was going to throw out there, and this is in no way a piece of "writing". This is just silly stuff. But now after writing this I'm realizing that this is in very close resemblance to the Perfectly Imperfect newsletter. Except I'm not famous but just as cool and interesting. I hope you enjoyed this, don't let me know if you didn't because I'm sensitive!

Look at my fab photoshop skills.

*ALSO!!!!! This wix website is so completely juvenile I want to start my substack so bad but so many posts on this blog fringe upon being visually appealing since we are rat brained gen z teenagers that love to look at pretty pictures. Sigh.